Date: 2008-05-24 20:33 Subject: Yoohoo! Security: Public Mood: amused

I am resurrecting this site. Ahahaha, I can't believe how long I have not been in here!

Date: 2007-09-27 14:40 Subject: login 2 Security: Public Mood: content Tags: letter 2

Dear Lord,

My life is quite full of negativity as of the moment. I really don’t know if these things serve as a punishment for anything sinful that I have done (perhaps, it really is) or just a tidal wave of trials in order to make me stronger. Whatever the purpose behind these circumstances, I just trust you. But Lord, I just want you to shed some light as to what you really want me to become in the future. As you might have probably known all this time, I am really having a hard time figuring out where to fully place myself on this planet, or more so discovering the true niche where I can find a genuine sense of belongingness. I am aware that I should not fully lose hope on this matter, but I feel getting a bit tired already dealing with this dilemma over and over again.

I know that I am not really the most patient individual around, but I am really trying to be one because I trust you and I know that you only reserve the best of the best to those that truly loves you and does your will. So alongside with that, I pray that you teach me those life lessons that I still should know and help me prepare to receive them with all faith. Let your compassion fill my heart as I continually cross this complicated maze of life and let your light guide me towards the end of it all. 

Lord, please fill the void in me, fill the void in me.

Arthur

P.S. Lord, I entrust to you my family and my friends. 

This is our struggle Lord, and I know you’re with me.

Date: 2007-09-25 16:44 Subject: Log-in Security: Public Mood: contemplative Tags: letter

Hebrews 4:7b

“Today, if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.” 

Dear Lord, 

I have always heard your voice but I always find myself questioning if I am really ready to take heed and follow. I have always been afraid and reluctant to fully surrender myself to you because I don’t know if I have the faith to endure everything. Nobody seemed to understand how hard it must be to live in an environment where silence is more preferred than open communication. A place where fragmentation and divisiveness is quite tolerated rather than unity. Everything is breaking apart as what I have always observed but here I am, still clinging. 

As our glass is gradually being shattered, I try to hold on to every piece there is and anchor my life to anything that can give me hope. But amidst all those things that can only give nothing but fleeting happiness, You’re there. Lord, you really know by now that I am already so tired of endless searching, aimless wandering and deceitful masking. I totally believe that these things won’t really do me any good for in the end, I’ll still face You in all your shining glory and wonder. I cannot hide the true intents of my heart from you so I therefore decide to bare everything I have inside of me right before You. I give up. You now fit the pieces. You now make sense of what is left. You now carry me away from the past. You now give light to my present. You now take care of the future. As the winds and tides of life sail me towards my destiny, let you be my pillar of strength, my beacon of hope. 

I’ll someday be there. I’ll someday be there. 

Your wonderful creation, 

Arthur

Date: 2007-09-21 17:47 Subject: Insult Security: Public Mood: confused

Insult?

Hating Jollibee?

Date: 2007-09-20 15:05 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: contemplative

So I didn’t update for many, many weeks.

Well, my blogging interests have its times. There are times when my mind is just way too excited to share new tidbits and ideas to the online world but most of the time, or it is just way too idle and lazy to even function and process thoughts. This academic semester is about to end, when it seems that all hell breaks loose in terms of finishing academic requirements and taking out-of-this world examinations. Glad that most of them were already finished by this time (so it means I have more time going online, but only for today). A newsletter-like term paper that my groupmates in Political Science managed to really like, a report about school selection on my Sociology of Education class that my professor didn’t seem to like at all, and a few minor exams that I didn’t really want to talk so much about right now. And what’s the result after undergoing all these mental pressures? Me, a survivor (Sing with me now ala Destiny’s Child!). One sem down. One more to go. Here I come, betta run!

I feel so relieved as I relax my while trying to regain my composure after just being put into so much stress lately. In as much as I can, I am trying to enjoy every ounce of mental and emotional peace that I am having as of the moment, all with the help of a Great and Awesome God that unselfishly gives us all that we need in order to survive and continue the fight of great faith. It is also during these tranquil moments when I also begin to self-actualize while continually pondering on the aspect of my life’s true direction. One of my unique personal characteristics is that I don’t really have fixed goals and ambitions unlike others. Now I must admit that currently, I am a young adult facing a major crossroad, or much like several forks in the road while trying to figure out on what I really want to do in this life.

Being at a loss of direction at this point of time actually gives me a thrill rather than a sense of fear. I don’t fear being lost for now because I know that I’ll soon find my way out. In addition to that, I believe that this thrill that I’m feeling right now will help me reinforce all the positive energies that I sincerely need to push and motivate me even further as I continually aspire for greater things and for mightier exploits. I am also inclined to think that this state where I am at right now can actually be a blessing in disguise. Who knows, God might just surprise me of something that I didn’t even expect? He ultimately guides us to create our future, fulfill our destiny and leave a legacy. Doesn’t that thrill you? I love placing my faith on something uncertain, trudging the roads of the known and walking on the paths that only a few have trailed. It may sound too idealistic or dramatic but the truth is, that is actually what I am always trying to do. And during these solitary moments of uncertainty, I assert that I can see His glory even more because His light will be the everlasting torch that will ultimately shine amidst the overwhelming darkness that surrounds me. What He can do is something that we must continually yearn and desire. In general, God can really blow our minds away if we just allow Him too. 

I also totally understand and accept the fact that not all people will be able to fully understand me as the person that I really am. But I am really hoping that at least, they will take a risk on knowing me more deeply, as all the important essences of a person truly lie deep inside, and not really on the surface.

Goodbye dearests. 

This will be one of my last blog posts before I become an abnormal and harassed human being once again.

God’s blessings to all.

PS: This layout might appear hideous if you're using IE 6. Sorry for that.

Date: 2007-09-08 12:13 Subject: There is hope Security: Public

TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS.
by jamie tworkowski

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm (now you know why the movement is called to write LOVE in her arms).

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.

I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.

Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

Date: 2007-09-07 16:18 Subject: Wow Security: Public Mood: blah

I can't believe that I've just posted 5 blog entries in a row.

Oh well, I am just thankful that this week was over. I felt relieved although I doubt if I should really be since the loads of stuff and school requirements to do for the coming weeks are quite piling. I am so nervous though a bit anticipative for this semester to end. Guys, I am saying this right now. I am already accepting the fact that I'll never be a summa anymore. Yeah, I know. I know that you only rarely read this kind of geeky stuff but yeah, sorry, you've just met one of the geekiest person in the world minus the stereotypical eyeglasses. So sorry Faith Christian School. So sorry friends. So sorry to all who I'll be disappointing if ever. My humblest apologies to all but yeah, this is where my brain can only take me. How I wish I were as super genius as Mikaela Fudolig who just chews physics problems easily as if they were crunchy peanuts.

Going back, tease me a super geek or what but I just computed my past grades last night and found out that the probability that I'll become summa is really not that high anymore. Magna is a definite. But there's still a slim chance actually but only if there will be some sort of a miraculous divine intervention. Lol, but seriously, it will only happen if I won't get any grade lesser than 1.25 or A- for this sem and the next. GOOD LUCK! Hahaha. Woo, and yeah, as expected, regrets started to pour in right afterwards! The what if's, the if only's. What if this particular professor gave me a much higher grade before? If only I didn't procrastinate. If only I gave my very best on each subject and did not settle for complacency. Ah, reality is so hard and depressing to accept at first because I've been studying so hard for the past 14 years of my life but yeah, waste no more time crying over spilled milk. It is high time to face reality. Time to let go of illusions. But I'm holding on to my future dreams, and I believe that He has something better in store for me! His everlasting love! His unending grace! And of course, those more exciting moments that will surely blow me away! I am really looking forward to all of them. And yeah, that's life! Overall, I guess it is not really for me. God has other plans. Romans 8:28! Also, I know that being way too grade-conscious will just kill me and will prevent me from enjoying my last year on this university so heck, I'll just do my best and live my university life to the fullest. All our blessings are being unselfishly given by God anyway. Woo, come October 5, come... and please hurry! Quick! Fast! I so want to finish all the exams and pass all the requirements so I'll finally know my grades! Ah, I so hate meritocracy! Anyone with me?

I cast everything to you GOD! 

I Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Psalm 55:22

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.

Just got my salary for my freelance writing stint. Bought a maroon-colored sling bag that is totally kicking and a plastic case for my tons of class readings. Went to my optometrist afterwards to buy a new pair of contact lens and cleaner solution. Golly, the grades of my eye shoot to 350 from a previous 300! Ah, my vision is deteriorating. Thank you so much computers! I guess I would really have to lessen my computer usage unless I want laser eye surgery to be my last resort for better vision. So I tried the new contact lens (actually, it was my fourth time to replace my contact lens because the previous ones I've had were easily torn and some were just easily lost) and yeah, they felt comfortable as always. It also feels good to see clearly without having to wear eyeglasses that sometimes affect the way you look, lol. But I feel that I'll save more money if I'll just wear eyeglasses instead. Whatevs.

Got a very early interview at Makati tomorrow. 7AM! Oh Lord, what time will I leave the house? 5? Goodness! Turned out that I'm still trying to apply for other job positions so I can have a variety of alternatives. As they say, apply and apply then select. Am I mean? Anyway, I haven't signed any employment contracts yet so technically, I am still free to consider other job options. But it seems that Makati is becoming my third home. I can't believe for the past two weeks alone, I have been on this place for almost 2-3 times a week. To think that this place was way too far.

Just watched The Invasion and 1408. Finally. Both films are amazing although the latter had quite a confusing story line. But yeah, it was still amazing to watch. Very great thrill, scare and excitement. Greatly made, especially the former. Heck, Nicole Kidman was in it, what would you expect? Watch it guys! Now, I am doubting if I watch Disturbia or Nancy Drew instead. Disturbia received so many negative reviews so far so I doubt if I'll get my money's worth. Nancy Drew isn't really my thing but yeah, it might still deliver some great storyline. I am really excited to watch the new film of Jodie Foster, The Brave One. Oh well, how can anyone stop a huge Jodie Foster man like me? The film seems amazing and she looks young and pumped up on this film.

'Til then. I gotta make the most out of this weekend although I still have a Saturday class to attend tomorrow. Basically I need to de-stress for a while before I face tons of research papers to do and stuff. AH! I swear, I won't go back to UP after a year once I graduate. The environment is just so toxic (yet exciting and challenging) and haggardly! Is this the effect of studying 14 years straight? Yeah, I guess so. Indeed, I need to find a new environment devoid of classrooms, term papers and professors for a while. It should be something much more exciting, and much more fulfilling.

Sayonara for now.

Date: 2007-09-07 16:06 Subject: Difference Security: Public Tags: difference

No, you don't need to subtract to make a difference.

50 Tips on "How to Make a Difference!   ***

1. Say something positive as early/soon as possible.

2. Believe in miracles but don't depend on them.

3. Never allow anyone to intimidate.

4. Don't work for recognition but do work worthy of recognition.

5. Remember the credo of Walt Disney: Think. Believe. Dream. Dare.

6. Never comment on someone's weight unless you know it's what they want to hear.

7. Seek respect rather popularity.

8. Seek quality rather than luxury.

9. Start a "read again" file for articles you might want to enjoy a second time.

10. Look for opportunity that's hidden in every adversity.

11. Remember that when your mom says "you'll regret it" you probably will.

12. On your birthday send your mom a thank you card.

13. Never let the odds stop you from pursuing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.

14. Be happy with what you have while working on what you want.

15. Celebrate even small victories.

16. Don’t forget that a couple of words of praise or encouragement can make someone's day.

17. Whenever you hear an ambulance siren say a prayer for the person inside.

18. When in doubt smile.

19. If it's not a beautiful morning let your cheerfulness make it beautiful.

20. Marry someone you’re equal or a little bit better.

21. Remember that a minute of anger denies you 60 seconds of happiness.

22. Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish it.

23. Don’t write something you don't want others to read.

24. When taking a true-false test, remember that any statement that includes the word any, all, always, never or ever is usually false.

25. Never tell anybody they can't sing.

26. Become the world's most thoughtful friend.

27. Remember that anything worth doing is going to take longer than you think.

28. Remember that bad luck as well as good luck seldom lasts long.

29. Root for your team to win not for the other team to lose.

30. Accept triumph and defeat with equal grace.

31. Learn your great-grandparent' s name and what they did.

32. Savor everyday.

33. Share the remote control.

34. Remember it's not your job to get people to like you; it's your job to like people.

35. Never miss a chance to shake hands with Santa

36. Remember that the only dumb question is the one you wanted to ask but did not ask.

37. Spend time with successful (lucky) people.

38. Stand up for your right principles even if you have to stand alone.

39. Remember that everyone has bad days.

40. Marry someone who loves music.

41. If you know you are going to lose, do it with style.

42. Remember that not all right are popular and not all popular are right.

43. Work diligently.

44. Live simply.

45. Think quickly.

46. Fight fairly.

47. Give generously.

48. Laugh loudly.

49. Pray faithfully.

50. Love deeply.

LOVE Transforms. Compels. Astounds. (July 22, 2005- Fr. Madulid Francisco)

Date: 2007-09-04 15:03 Subject: Made for a Mission Security: Public Mood: contemplative

JESUS CHRIST IS NOT ONLY FOR US

Becoming World-Class Christians

Made for a mission!

Last Sunday’s service was really brilliant, and it really taught me so many things. I can’t express them all into words (though I tried) but one this is sure: It made me realize how really important my involvement is towards the advancement of God’s Kingdom.

It was actually our WORLD PARTNER’S Sunday here at Victory Christian Fellowship, and this great event is only being held once a year. This is the specific event where we tackle about how we, as Christians, can get to fulfill the Great Commission and bring Christ to all the nations.

Most of my church mates were wearing national costumes of different nations to represent each country where missionaries of Christ are at utmost need. This church has been constantly planting churches from all over the world, and it is just amazing how God continues to give all the necessary resources for all His plans to materialize and advance.

Our pastor illustrated the importance of sharing Christ to others using a very excellent analogy:

Imagine that all of us: you, me and everyone else are in a SEVERE FAMINE.

Assuming that it is possible, imagine that we are still alive yet we have not eaten for almost a month now.

WE ARE ALL SO HUNGRY, and we are almost beyond desperation just to eat something.

However, one day, a booming voice is heard.

“Good news guys! We now have some food!”

So our pastor brought out several delicious foods to the stage.

And then he asked who among the audience wants to eat some food.

“WHO WANTS A BOX OF KRISPY KREMES?”

Of course, majority of the audience raised their hand.

Fortunately, that one person sitting on the front was chosen by our pastor to receive the box of Krispy Kremes.

“NOW WHO WANTS A BOX OF 16-INCH YELLOW CAB PIZZA?”

We all again raised our hands.

But then again, he gave it to the same person who received the box of Krispy Kremes before.

“NOW WHO WANTS SOME CHEESEBURGER DELUXE AND LARGE FRENCH FRIES?”

Fewer raised their hands but there were still many who did.

But again, our pastor gave the food to that same person on the front again.

Sensing that the whole audience was complaining already of why was it that only the same person receives all the food again and again, the pastor excellently asked:

“All of you guys are in a famine. A SEVERE FAMINE. But when the food came, only one person was receiving all the food. I know. It is so unfair.”

The whole audience nodded.

“Same with the good news of Christ.”

“How many people in this world do you think is still so, so hungry just to have a taste of the bread of life?”

IT IS TIME TO ASK OURSELVES:

We are all so filled with His love but HOW ABOUT THEM?

Again, HOW ABOUT THEM?

When will their turn come to receive some food?

When will they receive their own share of life?

Are they all destined to be lost forever?

And who will free them from the cyclic bondage of sin?

Guys, it will have to be us.

TRUTH just can’t reside within us.

Christ didn’t save us so that we can only know the truth for ourselves.

HE SAVED US SO WE CAN ALSO THE PASS THE LIGHT ONTO OTHERS.

A pastor said before, “In order to follow Christ, you will need two things: A BIBLE AND A PASSPORT. A Bible is needed for us to know God, and a passport is needed for us to travel around the world and preach the truth.”

But given the advancement of technology nowadays, this is already half-true. Emails, fax, cellphones, online devotionals and so much more. Almost everything can be now so comfortable on just spreading the Word of God alone. INDEED, it has never been easier to fulfill our commission to go to the whole world. But the question now is: WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE?

The mandate remains: 

                  BRING CHRIST TO PLACES WHERE HE IS NOT  KNOWN.

Some of us might only take a seat (share the truth to your seatmate),

Some of us might only take a cubicle (share the truth to your officemate),

Some of us might only take visiting the next-door house (share the truth to your neighborhood),

Some of us might take a province or city,

Or some of us might need to cross borders and territories.

Whoever you are, whatever you do, just remember that we are called to bear the light and let its shining glory be seen by others.

If the apostle Paul can travel from city to city by walking long distances just to fulfill God’s commandment, then why can we not do so given the comforts of modern transportation?

Before our pastor ended his sermon, he made us see a video showing those countries whose some citizens have been radically changed by Christ through the help of Filipino missionaries being deployed every single year.

Countries like UKRAINE, LAOS, GERMANY, KYRGYZSTAN, VIETNAM, THAILAND, BANGLADESH and other countries where Christ isn’t predominantly known are all being changed one by one simply because of the missionaries’ undying efforts to reach out and share the gospel to all the people, come what may.

WOULD YOU BELIEVE that our missions department all started inside a small cinema?

The founding members of our church had a vision that someday, it will grow so huge that it will plant so many churches not only here in our country but also to the other countries around the world.

In fact, they are so passionate about missions and making a disciple of all nations that they will put a HUGE WORLD MAP on the wall and will PLACE THEIR HANDS and PRAY OVER on those countries that they want to visit and spread the word of God.

But look now: Not only does our church have several branches nationwide (from malls to open fields to cinemas) but has also some churches on some around the world. And IT DOESN’T STOP THERE. This will now be a lifelong mission. Because of this, each month, more and more foreigners are being equipped to become leaders (Every Nation World Conference) in order to lead their respective communities; cities and nations back to God. AMAZING!!!

Our pastor ended the sermon by giving these three actions that we can do in order to help on missions:

First, PRAY. Even if this action is being recommended lots of times already, it still holds true, now and forevermore. Nothing can really beat a sincere prayer of help and guidance to GOD! Remember this verse: “You are also joining to help us when you pray for us.” (2 Corinthians 1:11)

Second, GO. Go to someone whom you can befriend or reach out so you can gradually introduce Christ. Use your SKILLS, TALENTS or AMBITION to be a channel of His love and light to others. Just to illustrate the point, our church recently launched an INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS MINISTRY that aims to TEACH ENGLISH to non-native English foreigners like Koreans, Germans, etc. (since there are quite a number of foreigners here in the University of the Philippines). While our main aim is really to teach them how to write and speak English well, we can gradually use our teaching abilities to spread to them the gospel of Christ.

You know, all of us have dreams. We all have our own goals and hopes. BUT DON’T FORGET that this life isn’t ours. SO WHEN YOU DREAM, DREAM TOGETHER WITH CHRIST. Dream together with those people who desire to change the world through their faith. The steps that we need to take might be hard and painful but rest assured, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER (lol, remember that High School musical song?).

Third, GIVE. If you can’t participate just yet on mission trips like me, YOU CAN ALWAYS GIVE some contributions or any form of monthly pledge that you can definitely commit to, whether it is monetary or not. ALWAYS remember that every little thing that you selflessly give will always go a long way. WOULDN’T IT BE AMAZING to imagine that someday, THAT MONEY YOU gave to fund the mission trips can possibly help on changing the life of one individual? And that’s one LIFE, ONE SOUL won for Christ!!! You see, MISSIONARIES won’t be able to fulfill their job without our help. God expects us to use our time and wisdom so we can all cooperate to achieve HIS GOALS, HIS PLANS and HIS AMBITIONS for the world. We are not lone rangers. We all got everybody’s backs.

At the end of the day, we all have decision to make: either we become a WORLD-CLASS Christian or a worldly Christian.

As Rick Warren stated on his book a PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE, “there are only people on this planet whom only you will be able to reach, because of where you live and what God has made you to be. If just one person will be in heaven because of YOU, your life will have made a difference for eternity. So start looking around at your PERSONAL MISSION FIELD and pray, God, who have you put in my life for me to tell about Jesus?”

Here are some verses that I believe can be useful:

Acts 20:24

“The most important thing is that I complete my mission, the work that the Lord Jesus gave me.”

Matthew 28:19-20

“Go to the people of all nations and make them my disciples. Baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to do everything I have told you.”

2 Corinthians 5:20

“We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God!”

and finally, this verse really CONVICTS me so much:

Ezekiel 3:18

“You must warn them so they may live. If you don’t speak out to warn the wicked to stop their evil ways, they will die in their sin. But I will hold you responsible for their death.”

God bless us all!

                            AMAZING QUOTES

 While I was in Powerbooks, I grabbed this book entitled “KISS OF HEAVEN” authored by no less than DARLENE ZSCHECH, a Hillsong worship leader. So out of interest, I browsed the book and to my delight, it turned out to be one of those books that contained some of the most inspiring quotes ever… let me just share some of them.

You do not need a college degree to serve,

You do not need to make your subject and verb agree to serve,

You do not need to know Plato and Aristotle to serve,

You do not need to know Einstein’s theory of relativity to serve,

All you need is a heart full of grace… and a soul generated by love,

AND THEN YOU CAN BE THAT SERVANT.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let not anything fill you with so much sorrow that you forget the joy of Christ risen.

-Mother Teresa

If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, let him sweep the streets.

Just like Michelangelo will paint,

Just like Beethoven will compose music,

Just like Shakespeare will write poetry.

Let the streetsweeper sweep the streets so well that the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say,

HERE LIVED A GREAT STREETSWEEPER WHO SWEEPED THE STREETS SO WELL.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

All men will die but not all had totally lived.

 
-William Wallace


STAY ABLAZE PEOPLE!

Date: 2007-08-30 14:35 Subject: Observations Security: Public

Hurrah! 

I was surprised early morning yesterday when I was texted by someone from the National Pen Corporation that I have a scheduled interview at 6:00 PM at their office in RCBC Towers located at Ayala Avenue, Makati City. I did apply to their company last week (thanks to Jobstreet.com) for the verifications specialist position so I figured out that this is my chance to enter the corporate world with business suits and stuff (lol, dream on!). I don't have any idea what a verifications specialist does but I felt that I am qualified for the position when I've read the job description that was stated on their ad. 

I was hesitant at first to go to Ayala Avenue yesterday (hello, 6:00 PM!) because that place was really very far. I need to take a few jeepney rides and board two railway trains just to reach that place. I am so worried over the fact that I might not catch the last MRT train shuttle that will take me back home (just in case the interview and application process will take that long) so that will force me to ride a public bus (which is not really ideal especially if you're alone and if its already nighttime).

Oh well, to cut the story short, I still went because anyway, I applied to their company and they didn't force me so it is my responsibility to do whatever they ask. I arrived in Ayala Avenue (through the MRT) at around 4:30 PM and gosh, the place was as ever, AMAZING. Hello, it is Ayala Avenue! If I will compare it to a place in the US, then I will most definitely say it will have to be NEW YORK! High-rish buildings, posh gardens, corporate atmosphere! Obviously, there are so many foreigners entering high-end malls and shops, particularly GLORIETTA. 

                           

I was running out of money yesterday so I just made a long walk just to reach the RCBC towers. Of course, long walks gave me the chance to observe people and places. I noticed that lots of foreigners don't really care whether they kiss or display an excessive amount of affection to their partners. Lol! I saw this one American in his 20s constantly kissing his seemingly Filipina girlfriend. I managed to catch them while I was walking and I overheard that the foreigner keeps on speaking in English yet what the Filipina can only say is "ahuh, ahuh, ahuh and yeah." Lol, seems like she can't keep up with the English-spokening dollar man.

I also saw a foreigner who even stopped to look at a very simple tree, pretty much like an ipil-ipil tree. It is quite funny to see how she really stopped from walking and began touching the leaves of it as if she was really in a great trance or something. I can really sense that she was really in awe to see the tree. She must be a botanist or an environmentalist or something. But hey, that might also be the same act that I'll be doing once I step my foot on a foreign soil! Pretty much how I want to really see a cherry blossom tree in Japan!

After a very long walk on both  the underground tunnels and the above avenues on the ground, I finally reached the twin towers of RCBC. It is not my first time to reach the place but I once again became so excited when I stepped my feet on it for the third time! So I finally entered and BAM! I was WOWED again by the place that I totally gasped! It was really world-class I must say, that is if you will base it to my own standards. Entering the building itself might give you the feeling that you are indeed in New York. Now I wonder how the insides of now fallen World Trade Center Towers look like.

The floor of the National Pen Corporation was in the 42nd. So I left my ID on the reception area, then I entered the majestic elevators. I made sure that I am the only one inside the elevator so I can fully enjoy the experience! Lol, feels like I am lost kid! So when the elevator door closed, I pressed the button numbered 42 and woo!!! It began to accelerate upward! It was so fast I started to begin feeling a painful sensation in my ears, perhaps because of the high altitude. I felt happy though because I can only experience these kinds of feelings rarely, and I totally feel like I am inside a time machine being warped through time.

So I reached their office and WOW once again! Another gasping moment right there! The office is so beautiful and sophisticated. Actually, I've only heard about National Pen Corporation once and many really say that the employees here are really highly-paid. Well, that gave me a positive feeling although I am not really expecting 'coz all I really need is a work that can help me support my family and myself. Besides, I am also after the work experience so by the time I graduate next year, I already have two official corporate working experience (one is the Convergys call center stint I had).

Turned out that we were only few who were invited. This is probably because the company is not really popular, or is not really aggressive on promoting its job openings. If not for JobStreet, I would not have even known that they have job openings. I was the first one to arrive among the five applicants so after a few friendly chats with them in the very comfortable lobby couch, I was called first to be interviewed. I felt nervous 'coz I don't know anything about the position but heck, I am already here so I will just try to give it my very best shot. The interviewer's name is Kwik, and yeah, her name's quite peculiar but unique. She is also beautiful, I must say ;). She shook my hands of course then we proceeded on talking about my educational background. She asked the reason of why I am so excited to have a work and not just finish first my studies. I, of course, stated my own reasons although I felt that she was not utterly convinced of them. She warned me that the job won't really be easy, and it will require me to work in graveyard shifts because most of the clients will be Americans or foreigners. The schedule is fixed though, which is from 9 in the evening 'til 6 in the morning, Manila time. I said yes and I agreed to it because anyway, working on that stressful shift isn't new to me since I've worked in a call center before. 

Unfortunately, she cannot place me in the verifications specialist position because the training will already start next week (2-weeks worth of training) and I still have classes by that time. However, she said that she will be endorsing me to the Sales Department so I can be their youngest Account Executive (being that I am 19 yet) ever! She was somewhat impressed of all the "crap" that I've presented to her in my resume (but hey, I do not lie on what I include in my resume. That's just FOUL!) so she asked if I was interested to be their account executive and be part of the sales team. I pondered: Am I good at sales? Am I good in persuasion and convincing people? Can I sell the company's products with all power and might?

Well, she said that since I've had a previous call center experience anyway, then I must be easily trained to be great salesperson. Afterwards, she proceeded on enumerating all the benefits and salary that I'll be receiving once I successfully become one of their account executives: there's a P15K base pay plus a P1,500 meal and transportation allowance plus a 15K+ commission or 120% additional incentive  if ever I'll hit the targeted quota. Add to that is the 10% night differential pay (mandated by law to be given by companies to employees who will work during graveyard shift) and a, take this, RETIREMENT PLAN! She said that National Pen is only one of the few manufacturing/call center companies here in the Philippines that offer such package. Of course, I felt so overwhelmed 'coz all I'm just looking for is a normal job that I can enjoy the most and can most definitely fit to my qualifications (given the fact that I don't have a college diploma yet). But what they really gave to me is an OPPORTUNITY of a lifetime!

The initial interview ended with gladness and she said that my final interview is also scheduled today, 9:30 PM. She gave me hints by saying that I'll be tasked to sell a particular product to a panel of people during the final interview and it must pass to their before I can sign the contract and formally get the position. And if ever I'll be successful, then my training will be scheduled during the sem break where I almost have a month without classes. I suddenly felt nervous 'coz I've never experienced selling a product to anybody before so I asked if its possible for the final interview to just be rescheduled tomorrow. She agreed (thank God!) although the time will also be the same: 9:30 PM! Now I have no choice but to go back to that place again even though it will be already freaking late. 

It is already 3:00 PM and I'm still here in UP, in this dingy intertnet cafe, with nothing so much to do. Oh no, I actually have so many things to do but I am just making up illusions that I really have nothing to do. WAKE UP ARTHUR! WAKE UP! Things to do are piling in. AHHHHH! I don't know what my problem is. I feel so confused. I just cannot concentrate because there are so many concerns hovering around my mind at this point. Fears, anxieties, dashed hopes. Add to that are the academic, friend, family and life concerns that has always bugged my life since time immemorial. Has anybody of you experienced feeling so unmotivated to do something because a lingering thought saps your energy and continually holds on to your attention? Like whenever you get a low grade on a returned exam or when you experienced a very upsetting situation, and you really want to do something but you just can't. Why? You can't focus on it, or worse, you can't even act on it to the best that you can! Friends, that's what I feel at this point.

I am still grateful though that I've managed to reach the final interview. Wish me safety ( I'll definitely miss the last MRT train this time) and blessings as I'll go now and return to Ayala Avenue once again, meeying the same people, observing the same foreigners and walking on the same road or avenue that is not only brimming tenvironment might exude a sense of high-class style and ultimate sophistication (which gives me temporary happiness) but the feelings I am keeping inside is something that can't be alleviated by those qualities alone. 

Hope I'll get that job, hope I won't stammer and hope I'll return back home with a smile in my face and a peace of mind in my soul, just for this time.

Please Lord. Help me. Comfort me. 

Anyway, you've always come to my rescue.

Arthur

P.S. I am still so nervous to attend that Pol Sci class tomorrow. I really wonder what my professor would say. Will he apologize at least? Aahhh.. I doubt it. Lord, help please! Spare me some justice. Oh well, I guess I'll just arrive late or be totally absent on that class then. I should really prepare for the worst. I hate this! I freaking hate this! Butterflies on my stomach, go away! Distractions of my mind, be totally silenced!

Date: 2007-08-28 16:10 Subject: Catharsis Security: Public

It is great to be back here. What made me come back to blog here is the fact that I can never find any other potent way to release whatever I harbor inside (aside from praying or talking to real and sincere people). It feels like I can better express myself through writing, or better yet, through spontaneous writing. Whenever my fingers hit the computer keyboard, I just feel the urge of letting all the thoughts flow out of me until there's nothing left but relief and emptiness. Catharsis indeed.

I was still recovering from the pain and slight depression that I felt just awhile ago when I was slightly scolded and accused by my very own Political Science professor that it was my fault for not having kept my classmates inside the classroom until he comes (he was late for almost 50 minutes, which is almost 20 minutes over the university rule stating that if a professor does not show up for the first 30 minutes of the class, then the whole class can already go). I felt like crying when he was saying three times over and over again in front of my classmates that it was really my fault that I didn't inform the class that he was still coming. Oh, if he only knew that I did inform the class (and some of my other classmates who knew that he is also there) that he was actually going to come. Heck, he said that he will only be late for five minutes but it took him almost an hour before he even managed to get back (oh, correction. He actually didn't manage come back). I even informed the whole class that he is actually there, and my other classmates knew that he was really there. We just met him while we are already walking out of the hallway. Of course, I cannot control my classmates' actions. More so their feet that itches to go home and do some other things. In other words, if they want to go, they are free to go. This is UP, a free university. Heck, what do I know about my classmates' lives or daily activities, to think that TIME is the most essential element at this point? A classmate of mine even came home straight from Pangasinan just to catch the class, only to be surprised that our professor is not yet there.

I was so shocked that a professor could do such act that I already forgot to defend myself anymore out of fear and respect. I was actually about to apologize but I was just overwhelmed by what he was saying. Yes, I recognize my fault for not having encouraged the whole class to stay much longer but what I cannot accept is the fact that he is putting all the blame on me. As far as I know, this professor never really managed to arrive on time ever since our class started. But I don't have any objections to that (and I really don't mind) because hello, I am already on my fourth year. I am already used to professors coming late in class. In fact, there are much worser professors than him, those types that will only show up for a few meetings and will just leave the class hanging for the whole semester. Going back, his reason for being late this time was that he was conducting an interview for the new faculty memebers of the Political Science department. Oh great, I totally understand that. I will actually understand all the reasons that this prof may possibly have, explaining all the instances that he was late in our class. But what I cannot understand is why was this professor putting all the blame to me, to think that we are paying our tuition just to listen to a professor who is expected to arrive on time for our class. What do you think will the students do if a professor is not yet there for close to 45 minutes?

He left together with all my classmates and I just walked away, feeling alone and dejected. I quite said this phrase aloud, "Hay, kaka-depress naman!" as I left. I don't know whether my professor heard it or not but I really don't care anymore. But my groupmate somehow heard it so she just tried to comfort me by saying, "Arthur, 'wag ka ng ma-depress, okey lang 'yan" from a far distance.

I don't know now of how will I be able to still enter that class on Friday , which is our next scheduled meeting. Should I arrive late? Or should I just be absent? For sure, the first thing that will come out of his mouth next meeting is this, "Class, I am so sorry of what happened last meeting. I was actually here around the campus but it is just that one of your classmates wasn't responsible enough to keep you all waiting for me. "  Talk about failing an entrusted responsibility.

What's worse is that this professor will base the grade that he will give entirely (no matter how much he denies about it) on the group paper (a major requirement of this course), for which I am the entrusted leader. Previous students also said that your chances of getting a higher grade will be greater if he knows your family surname (the class is quite big so as of now, he only knows 2 surnames). Does this mean that the more you are known by this professor inside the classroom, the higher grade you will get? Oh Lord, I just hope that this incident won't affect the way he will grade me. I hope that he does not know my name. Geez, giving a grade should be free from all biases because a student should be graded by a teacher based on his or her performance on the class. Add to that is the quality of the output the student has produced for the class's desired requirements. In other words, subjective factors should not be put into consideration unless really necessary.

Goodness, this is one of the fears of a graduating student like me. Given the short amount of time left, one mistake and you're done. This is my last year, no more additional year to make up for low grades. Ironically, after this incident, I felt like not wanting to graduate just yet. Oh well, I find the need to say this not for pompous reasons but because I've really worked so hard for it.  I am actually on the brink of losing my summa cum laude standing. Yes, I am a candidate for the first 3 years of my university studies. Well, who wouldn't want to graduate with the highest Latin honors tucked under his or her belt? Not only will it pave the way for brighter job opportunities but it will also give you memories that will last a lifetime. And now, given this incident, I must say that I am already hanging by a thread. If he manage to give me a very low or even an average grade, then it is all over. Goodbye summa honors.

Don't get me wrong. I am not studying just to achieve honors. But if you can reconcile both learning and good grades, then why not? You will only study for college once, so why not do your best? I don't want to be the type of person who will only end up with regrets. I cannot forget what my mathematics teacher in HS said to us before we started the academic school year back when I was in 4th year: "All of you have perfect grades as of now. Straight As, all 100s. Now it's all up to you on how each one of you will be able to maintain them." That's so true! What a way to motivate students. Likewise, I am already in this ranking, and all I got'ta do is just to maintain it. But gracious, that incident I just narrated might just blew my chances away.

How I wish I was born to not care much about grades and achievements. Life will be much carefree and free-spirited for me I think. It will be much more easy and manageable! But to whom should I put the blame? What is the root cause of this personality or attitude that I bear? Is it because of the way that I was raised? Or is it because I was deprived of common childhood joys that I sought to find other areas where I can discover my true worth? Oh well, no matter how much I reinforce the idea to myself that all awards and honors won't really matter in the end, it is just hard to actually live for it. It has been a recurring problem for my part that I fear that someday, my true identity will just be based on merits alone, and not really of what I can do or contribute to this world. I just pray that God will continually reform my way of thinking so that I can be a much better person in the future. It is all about character!

Whether my dreams of being a once-in-a-lifetime summa will come true or not, I just cast it all to the Lord. I'll just work hard and study even harder because if God really wills it for me, then it will really come to be. Besides, all I gotta think know is that they are just academic distinctions. Whther you're a Summa, Magna, Cum, or even a graduate without any honors, who cares? In 20 years time, I bet that no one will even remember that you graduated with such honors (except your family and friends perhaps).

What a lovely 2nd post. I am so sorry LiveJournal. Many people might consider this problem of mine as a very trivial thing but what can Id do? I still believe that there's a kind and understanding heart that will be able to understand. Ahhh, my depressing moments just keep on coming in! Family, school, work, life. Will I able to look back on this second entry with a smile on my face, let's say 4 years from now? *sigh* 

Only time will tell.

I promise for a much, much better blog entry next time. 

Sayonara, lovely world.

Date: 2007-08-23 17:00 Subject: This isn't really memorable Security: Public Location: Netopia Mood: cheerful Music: Regina Spektor Tags: first post, memories

Here I come LiveJournal World!

Yes, my dream of creating a much, much better blog account  than the one I have on MySpace has finally come true! I am not really saying that this will be my permanent blogging site but so far, I am enjoying the features. It took me quite a while to figure out how to change the layout of this thing, but thanks to my incessant clicks of several LiveJournal community group links! Easy to follow directions on how to change your layout from one theme to another, with some other detailed instructions on how to post blog entries from one time to another. Kudos to the LiveJournal team!

This first post won't really be as memorable as most would expect but hopefully, if I manage to stay on this blogging site for many years, I'll look back on this day with a smile as I remember this moment when I've posted my very first LiveJournal entry. Hope that this will be a good sign of much more exciting and life-changing blogging years for me! I just wish that God will help me make my life so much more exciting so that I can fill this journal with lots of wonderful thoughts that can paint or color the minds of my readers with life and enthusiasm. 

Will keep you posted, guys!

All the best,

Arthur